Sunday, November 13, 2011

Spontaneous Teleportation

By Philip Gardocki 

I know of one case of spontaneous teleportation done by a human. This was related to me by Steve Miller, who I would be regard as a stable individual, and not prone to make things up. It involved a "Buzzard Ex" (for more information on this weapon, see Cold Wars Stories "Buzzard Ex" ) in the Mediterranean. Steven was "Talos" missile man on the USS Albany. Their "Buzzard Ex" shoot was going much better than the one in the Pacific and the shooters actually nailed two of the more than 40 missiles shot off.

One was shot down by the USS Dale, CG-19, with Jeff Billings, bringing to bear his experience in the Pacific and manning Director #2. 

The other was shot down in a somewhat unfair manner.  A F-14 Tomcat was flying overhead the Albany as the Talos was shot, and the pilot kicked in the afterburners, and followed the missile until it was out of gas, and falling into the sea before shooting it down.

The booster that remained on the rails*
The Albany also had one of those "Ut Oh’s" that firing liquid fuel rockets sometimes bring. Steven was about 2-300 feet away from the missile launcher, descending down an outside set of stairs, when the latest missile was fired off. But instead of the characteristic large whoosh with a very noticeable Doppler shift, this one went bang. He saw the sustainer, that is, the missile end, go ballistic into the sea, but the booster was still attached to the launcher, and was now spraying 100 foot flames from both the front and back of the booster.

One instant later, he was two floors down, and setting Zebra (locking) the door to his radar room. According to him, no time had passed, he did not traverse the intervening stairs and he was just there.

I know there is a certain lack of scientific evidence to this story, but I have another one where there is less ambiguity.

Last Talos leaving the USS Albany.*
This also involves a missile launch (surprise, surprise) from the USS Oklahoma City CG-5, and there were about 20 or so men watching missile shoots from what we referred to as our back porch. Also present was an 8mm video camera. The missile launched but, instead of heading outbound, it went almost straight up. Everyone followed the smoke trail until it was almost out of sight when the smoke trail made 180 degree loop. The "Talos" missile was now descending at over 1600 miles per hour straight down. At the last instant, it turned starboard, went out to sea and self destructed. As measured by the recorded camera footage, the total time of flight time was less than 10 seconds, with less than 4 seconds from the time the missile hit apogee to self destruct.

With the exception of the cameraman and one other, everyone else had fled into the adjacent office, and set Zebra.  There is no way 20 men could get through that door in 30 seconds, much less the 4 seconds from apogee. The only answer is that, for a moment, those men either teleported or became more real than the aluminum wall, and, while in that state, were able to go through it.

*Contrary to the claims painted on these two missiles, neither were the last Talos missiles fired.  Some were fired from Barking Sands missile sites well into the 90's


  1. In the 90s I worked at Barking Sands, where we had a Talos launcher that was used to launch reworked Talos (now called Vandal) targets for fleet training ops. I wasn't a Vandal guy, I worked on Chukar and Firebee drones that also launched from the pad.

    I was on the pad for one joint operation where we set up our drones and they had set up one Vandal, and then the vandal crew left (one flight, no recovery, no need to stay). We launched our drones, and had the usual 30 minutes to an hour of flying around getting shot at, then off to recovery. Then they shot off the Vandal.

    Unlike the wimpy jato bottles we had on our drones, the Vandal made a HELL of a noise going off the rail and rapidly climbed out to something like 90-100,000 feet, then did a terminal dive at the ship. they got their chance to track and fire, but the whole Vandal mission from start to finish only took a little over 2 minutes. What the range safety told us was that that was a LONG presentation... they could launch the Vandal in a sea-skimmer attack and those were less than a minute of flight from launch to shoot down or self-destruct after it got missed...

  2. Yes, they are very loud. Talos was breaking the sound barrier just off the rail.

  3. I was one deck above and directly behind the forward Talos launcher on Albany for that shot, running the W-2 guidance radar for what was supposed to be Albany's "Last One". I have pictures of the moment the booster blew through the forward part of the second stage (before blowing it over the side) and also a picture I took of what was left of the booster on the launcher afterwards. I don't recall the launcher moving during the incident although I would not have seen it from where I was at anyways. I do remember listening to the booster burning without leaving the ship as the longest 10 seconds or so of my life.

    1. I have received a couple of pictures, and have updated the story. Thanks.